Chick #1 disappears into bedroom with dude.
Chick #2: Go ahead, bitch, suck his dick. It’s sandy and it tastes like me.
–Beach Haven, New Jersey
Chick #1 disappears into bedroom with dude.
Chick #2: Go ahead, bitch, suck his dick. It’s sandy and it tastes like me.
–Beach Haven, New Jersey
Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we're hungry. We're gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There's plenty of sausages right here!
–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida
Overheard by: K
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?
–Flagler Beach, Florida
Overheard by: the nearest sunbather
Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see-through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?
–Flagler Beach, Florida
Overheard by: the nearest sunbather
Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy.
–Dolphin Cove, Jamaica
Overheard by: bea arthur
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
