Beach bunny: Oh, honey, your bathing suit is see‐through when it gets wet.
Surfer dude: What? Can you see my penis?
Beach bunny: Well…
Surfer dude to nearby sunbathers: Can you see my penis?
–Flagler Beach, Florida
Overheard by: the nearest sunbather
Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy.
–Dolphin Cove, Jamaica
Overheard by: bea arthur
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I’ll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?
–Wellfleet, Massachusetts
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
Tween boy #1: It is bigger than yours.
Tween boy #2: No, it’s not. Besides, it doesn’t matter. They are only sand castles.
Tween boy #1: I wasn’t talking about that.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow‐legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
