Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.
–Sea Isle, New Jersey
Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water
Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.
–Sea Isle, New Jersey
Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water
Sailor #1, in bathroom: Ew! I saw your dick!
Sailor #2: Ew! You wish!
–Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: disturbed roommate
Tourist girl #1: Wow! Check out the package on that guy!
Tourist girl #2: What? He's not holding anything.
Tourist girl #1: I meant his dick!
–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Overheard by: Fernanda
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
Girl to friend: Can I have some of your penis jelly?
–Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It's done, there's nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That's what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
Girl: Instead of “fisting” would elephants do “trunking”?
Guy: Wouldn't that be redundant? You know, trunk… Penis…
Girl: Yeah, maybe trunking is just elephant oral. (pause) That is a sentence I never thought I would ever say.
–Bar Harbor, Maine
Chick #1 disappears into bedroom with dude.
Chick #2: Go ahead, bitch, suck his dick. It’s sandy and it tastes like me.
–Beach Haven, New Jersey
Man with no pants to girls leaving bar: Leaving so soon?
Girl: Uh, yeah…we're hungry. We're gonna go get some food.
Man with no pants: Why? There's plenty of sausages right here!
–Garden of Eden Bar, Key West, Florida
Overheard by: K
Skinny hipster in the river: Then why the fuck are we swimming here if I could lose my fucking dick?!
–Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: commodore