Drunk guy to drunk friends: I love you from the base of my penis!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Allison
Tween boy #1: It is bigger than yours.
Tween boy #2: No, it’s not. Besides, it doesn’t matter. They are only sand castles.
Tween boy #1: I wasn’t talking about that.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Nine-year-old boy #1 (yelling): My penis! My penis just closed!
Nine-year-old boy #2 (yelling): Cool!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Chandler Smith
College girl #1: Oh my God! Look at his bulge!
College girl #2: He must have a huge dick.
Random lady: Sluts!
–Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: tanned tourist
Guy: Oh, man, I’ve got salt in my penis now. That shit hurts.
Girl: I don’t really think it matters what goes in my vagina.
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: H K
Girl on cell: Suck a dick! Tell Vanessa to suck a dick too!
–Long Branch, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mr. Pacman and the Pacman Ghost
Magician to seven-year-old boy: Get your hands out of your pockets! God sees everything!
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Man on phone: How about I stick my penis in your vagina?
Woman on the other end of the phone, loudly: How bout…no.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: couldn't contain