Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
Four-year-old boy: Wild for penis! Wild for penis! Wild for penis!
–Long Island Beach Club, Long Island, New York
Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Rob
JAP lady: Do those planes have to be so loud?
–Air Show with the Blue Angels, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Joanna
Girl, wearing lifeguard swimsuit and applying sunblock: Do my hole… NO! My back hole!
–Sacandaga Lake, New York
Overheard by: sherpa
Girl: You have to take your shoes off to walk in the sand.
Guy: I’ll wait until we find a spot.
Girl: What? Walking in the sand with your shoes is like fucking your mom and not cleaning up afterwards.
Guy: Okay, okay!
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: JD
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #2: Ice cold water, beer! Aaargh!
Beach vendor #1: Yo, we need wigs.
Beach vendor #2: Next time I'm wearing a pirate costume, don't get it twisted.
Beach vendor #1: Ice cold corona, aargh!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!
–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York
19-year-old boy: I want to make a shirt that says “Keep Allah out of downtown New York” and wear it to Ground Zero.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Couldn't Agree More
