Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Dude on cell: I don’t think the marriage thing is going to work… Why? Because I’m already married!
–Smith Point, Long Island, New York
Little boy: Guess what?
Man: What?
Little boy: On the count of three, I’m going to turn into a dinosaur.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ever
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Hoochie on cell: Calvin? No, that guy is a walking STD farm. I wouldn’t fuck him with Paris Hilton’s pussy!
–Coney Island, New York
Little boy #1: It’s my turn to use the boogie board! Mom said you have to share!
Little boy #2: Oh yeah? Well, too bad, ’cause I’m not gonna share!
Little boy #1: Oh yeah? Well, I just peed in your wetsuit!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: RPLB 2000
Guy #1: Look at that girl over there! Now if that isn’t hot, I don’t know what is.
Guy #2: Don’t even dream about it! She’s at least a nine.
Guy #1: Well, then, I’ll just go over and talk to her, and when we start making out, you can cry yourself to sleep.
A guy with a beer walks over and kisses her.
Guy #1: Well played, sir.
–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York
Girl on phone with guy friend: You know, my sister just got her tits done for her birthday… I don’t want you fucking her.
–Jones Beach, New York
