Guy #1: You're from Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1: I thought that place was fake. I didn't know it was a real place.
Guy #2: Borat is from England.

–Miami Beach

Guy: I don't understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That's like saying, “my nipples don't argue.”
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: raerae

Girl #1: What do you say when people ask about me?
Girl #2: “She's a narcissistic freak.”
Girl #1: What kind of narcissist am I?
Girl #2: (stares blankly)
Girl #1: A pretty oneee.
Girl #2: You want me to lie to you?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: Just kidding–you're not not pretty.
Girl #1: What?!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: You're saying I'm not ugly but I'm not pretty.
Girl #2: You're in limbo between pretty and ugly, so being mean to me makes you ugly.

–Kure Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bee

Guy selling beer: Ladies, if your man won't buy you a beer he ain't gonna buy you anything else!
Same guy selling beer, an hour later: If you don't drink beer, you're gonna die!

–Brighton Beach, New York

Overheard by: Ramen

Boy #1: Are you gonna use your real age or your fake age?
Boy #2: I’m gonna say I’m 20.
Boy #1: Fuck that! I’m saying 17.
Boy #3: I’m so wasted I can hardly ride my bike.

–Foster Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Beach Comber

Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, Stuart, there is something gooey on my towel!
Stuart: Where did you get the towel from?
Ditzy blonde: Next to your bed.
Stuart: Oh, um…it must be hair gel!

–Terrigal, Australia

Spin-doctor chick: Well, really I’ve only slept with three guys.
Realistic chick: Ha! It’s been way more than that. After your last year in college, you’d have to be up to six.
Spin-doctor chick: Yeah, but two of them were really bad and one was too drunk to finish, so those three don’t count.

–Nantucket, Massachusetts

Overheard by: silently smirking

Girl: Wait, so I'm cheating on you… with myself?!
Guy: Exactly!

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it's weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don't want her to think we're gay.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Girl #1: Whenever I go to Europe I just say I'm Canadian and they don't get weird like they do if you say you're American.
Girl #2: No way I'm claiming to be Canadian! Have you talked to those people?

–Austin, Texas