Kid #1: Mama, have you seen the bad guy?
Mom: Not today.
Kid #1: Is he here?
Mom: I don’t think so, no.
Kid #2: Where is he?
Mom: Well, if you don’t look for him, you’re not gonna find him!
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Jessica B.
Kid #1: Mama, have you seen the bad guy?
Mom: Not today.
Kid #1: Is he here?
Mom: I don’t think so, no.
Kid #2: Where is he?
Mom: Well, if you don’t look for him, you’re not gonna find him!
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: Jessica B.
Mom: Honey, what are you doing?
Daughter: Going under the umbrella, because I don’t want my butt to get parched.
–Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Kara
Frantic Italian woman to toddler walking along shore: Stay away from the waves! Stay away from the waves!
–Seawatch Beach, Manasquan, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mimi
Boy: I told my mom I wanted to be a pirate, and she got really pissed at me and told me they rape and kill and pillage!
–Ocean City Beach, Maryland
Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!
–Ostseebad Damp, Germany
Overheard by: Pascal
Fat half-naked lady, walking up to a random lady and her kid: I'm about to burst!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: would not like to be there when it happens
Grandmother: So you’re not in a fight anymore?
Little boy, hugging little girl: We’re gettting married!
Grandmother: But you’re cousins.
Little boy: No, I mean when we’re older.
Grandmother: But you’ll still be…Never mind.
–Ortley Beach, New Jersey
