Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who's Tyler?
–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana
Guy #1: Welcome, shrinkage!
Guy #2: My dick is inside my belly.
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s about to poke out of my ass.
–Sea Isle, New Jersey
Overheard by: Didn’t go into the water
Chick: I can’t stand it when people smoke at the beach. It’s such a wrong thing to do in a place like this.
Dude: Smoking at the beach is like killing someone at a birthday party.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Peter
Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It's okay, he's bright on the inside. It's good for him.
–Pacific Beach, California
Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?
–York Beach, Maine
Girl (pointing to sign on lifeguard tower): Hah! I thought that said “Dying is dangerous and prohibited” for a sec.
Guy: You're crazy. It says “diving!”
Girl: (pause) I know. But.. oh, whatever.
Lifeguard: Yes–we have a very strict policy… No dying!
–Corona Del Mar Beach, California
Overheard by: Dee
Cute girl walking down the boardwalk: I’ve been stared at seven times already!
Random guy walking past: Eight.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
Guy #1: He had his keys on the table, and a squirrel took 'em.
Guy #2: Hehehe!
Guy #1: A squirrel!
–Pacifica, California
Overheard by: M.E.
Guy #1: He had his keys on the table, and a squirrel took 'em.
Guy #2: Hehehe!
Guy #1: A squirrel!
–Pacifica, California
Overheard by: M.E.
