Little boy pointing to portabella mushroom: Mommy, what’s that?
Tired mother: It’s a mushroom. Someday I’m going to make you a hamburger for dinner, but instead of meat, it’s going to have one of those mushrooms in it.
Little boy looking back at mushroom, terrified: Why would you do that?!
–Beachside Produce Plus, Melbourne Beach, Florida
Girl that won't stop talking: This looks a lot like my mother's house, but the colors are more tropical because she's Puerto Rican.
–North Florida
Overheard by: Amused
Drunk girl: Wow, those cookies are sooo big! How do they do that?
–Highway 98 East, Destin, Florida
Overheard by: restaurant bitch
Little girl: Do you have a boyfriend?
Older girl: Not right now.
Little girl: Do you kiss guys on the lips?
Older girl: Well…
Little girl: Do you kiss your dad on the lips?
Older girl: Not that I can remember, no.
Little girl: You don’t kiss your dad on the lips? I kissed mine on the lips this morning!
–Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: MBD
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I'm going to poop on your chest, you'll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There's sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They're quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Jonica Grompson
Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.
–Tampa, Florida
Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I'm about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.
–Miami Beach, Florida
