Florida

Girl to friend: I'm going to name one of my friends Jew and the other one Hitler, so it would be like Family Feud.

–Tampa, Florida

Guy on cell: Dude, you gotta come down here…I'm about to jump in the ocean and scream at the universe and I want you to help me! (pause) Okay, yeah, send the brown people down.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Scene girl to friend: Hey, Ana!
Friend, yelling: Call me by my MySpace name!
Scene girl, sighing: Fine. (pause) Hey, AnaAutomaticAssaultUnicorn!

–Tampa, Florida

Random guy in middle of large group of male friends: Ah, man! And my nipples just got like so hard right now.
Friend: Dude, man! They totally did! (chorus of laughter as they walk away)

–Fort Walton Beach, Florida

Little old lady, stumbling on the boardwalk with her husband: Oh my goodness! There's no railing on the edge? What? Someone could just fall right off! If they were as drunk as me, anyways.

–Key West, Florida

Overheard by: Caroline Oldfield

Woman, watching animal abuse commercial on Logo: I hate this commercial. This is why I don't watch this channel. Well, this and all the gays.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Enjoys the gays

Queer: … And when he finished on my ass he said, ‘Hold on,’ and took a step backward and did a back flip!

–St. Augustine Beach, Florida

Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it's really getting annoying, I'm like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Elise

Old man: I think it's too late to swim, the oil is washing up on the beach.
Old woman: Yeah, it's too late for a lot of things now.
Old man: We should move back to Detroit. It's less polluted.
Old woman: I don't want to die in Detroit. Remember, we had this conversation already.

–Pier, St Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Sandy Paws

Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Courtney