Fat people

Fat guy on cell: I'm not interested. Throw my food at the dog.

–Rhyl, Wales

Overheard by: Jake

Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.

–Florida

Overheard by: Northern Lad

Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.

–Lavalette, New Jersey

Overheard by: Crab

Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they're far perkier.

–Uvongo Beach, South Africa

Overheard by: dizziebean

Big man: No, I never blamed my wife for me being fat. I blame her for me being a nympho… Not for being fat, though…

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!

Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.

Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??

–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair

Man: I see you’ve caught the sun a bit!
Fat lady: No, that’s just chub-rub.

–Spain

Overheard by: Vertman

Overweight mother: I don't want to be a gladiator!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Fat half-naked lady, walking up to a random lady and her kid: I'm about to burst!

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: would not like to be there when it happens

Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!

–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California