Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing

Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I didn’t put ‘Let’s meet at Starbucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Brooke

Posted on October 22, 2022
Dating, Drinking, Drunks, Fat people, Idiots, Stupidity, Washington

…And I'd Like to Do It with Dignity.

Fat blubbery man to wife: C'mon already! Let's go in the water–I gotta take a piss!

–Caribbean

Overheard by: Grossed Out

Posted on October 13, 2022
Caribbean, Couples, Fat people, Pee, Swimming, Weirdness

You Can Call It "Baby Weight" Until the Baby Leaves for College

Flabby mom in bikini, having picture taken with three kids: Honey, come stand in front of mommy's tummy.

–Penfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut

Posted on September 10, 2022
Body parts, Connecticut, Diet and Weight, Fat people, Kids, Moms

You Can Call It "Baby Weight" Until the Baby Leaves for College

Flabby mom in bikini, having picture taken with three kids: Honey, come stand in front of mommy's tummy.

–Penfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut

Posted on September 10, 2022
Body parts, Connecticut, Diet and Weight, Fat people, Kids, Moms

Predator UAV Designers: 'Eeeexcellent!'

Fat guy: Oh boy, that plane looks just like a seagull. You’d never see it coming! Oh wait, that is a seagull.

–Air show, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Steve W

Posted on September 6, 2022
Animals, Default, Fat people, Guys, Idiots, Michigan, Stupidity

I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Posted on May 15, 2022
Body parts, Family, Fat people, Maryland, Moms, Old folks, Questions, Should've used a condom, Threats, Violence

If You'll Refer to This Venn Diagram…

Fat guy in tight shirt: Okay, I can understand a Vulcan being a Buddhist, but not a Christian.

–Venice Beach, California

Posted on January 6, 2022
California, Fat people, TV

I Think They Even Did Splits!

Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG-13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.

–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!