Sober girl: You have no idea what’s going on!
Drunk blonde: Yes I do! I am still totally relevant to what is going on!
Sober girl: Wait, what?
Drunk blonde: Oh, relevant of! Relevant of what is going on!… Aren’t these shoes sexy?
–Santa Barbara, California
Reporter: Hey girls, do you have anything you want to say to the camera?
Drunk girl #1: Hi, mum… I’m not that drunk…
Drunk girl #2: And I’m still a virgin!
–Schoolies Week, Gold Coast, Australia
Drunk chick on raft: Hey, Mike*, would you love Kelly* more if she did a beer funnel?
Mike*, on another raft: We're married. I don't have to love her at all.
–Rafting Down Delaware River
Overheard by: twoferrets
Drunk girl: My goal is to win a wet T-shirt contest so I can win two hundred dollars and get a tattoo… I could never get naked, but I would if I had to.
–Ft. Walton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: If I didn’t have to work the next day, I’d have invited her to party
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Drunk girl pointing at pelican: Holy shit — a fuckin’ Pterodactyl!
–Cancun, Mexico
