Drinking

Senior week girl: Why can’t we bring beer bottles on the beach?!
Senior week guy: Seriously… Isn’t sand made of glass anyway?

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Kim Beegle

Hipster teen on cell: No, dude, I'm not sober. I'm totally drunk and I have to babysit in less than an hour!

–Alki Beach, Seattle, Washington

Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!

–Grand Beach, Manitoba

Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach

Bro to another: Tequila out of her nipples, and…

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle

Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Drunk girl to interviewer with guitar: Are you part of one of the bands?
Interviewer: No, I just interviewed Paramore for my job.
Drunk girl: Oh… Well… Do you want a beer bong, anyway?

–Panama City Beach, Florida

Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!

Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.

Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??

–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair

Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.

–Auckland, New Zealand