Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!

–Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: Narwhal

Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don't burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.

–Playground, Alameda, California

Overheard by: lith

Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?

–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

Gent #1: I’m having troubles casting for this part.
Gent #2: I know the perfect girl, but she’s young. Only 17.
Gent #1: Hmmm… That’s too young.
Gent #2: Yeah, but you could fuck her mom.

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Wanker

Guy: I wouldn’t go in the water if I was you.
Girl: Why?
Guy: I think there’s something in there that makes you pregnant.
Girl: Why do you say that?

Guy points to large group of pregnant women.

Girl: Oh…

–Coralville Reservoir, Coralville, Iowa

Girl #1: Hey, I really want to get rid of my short-tan, but I need to change into my bathing suit bottoms.
Girl #2: Go ahead. No one will notice.

Girl #1 takes off her shorts and is about to take off her thong.

Girl #2: Jenny, I was just kidding! Put your shorts back on!
Girl #1: Oh, shit!

–Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: sun-lover

Girl #1: Don’t go skinny dipping here.
Girl #2: Why not? That blind person is the only guy around.
Blind guy: I’m blind, not deaf. Now I can use the sound of your voice to project an image of you naked in my head. [He pauses for a moment.] It’s not pretty.

–Westhampton Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: amanda fox

Guy #1: I’ve been married for eleven years. My wife and I are always looking for ways to keep our relationship fresh.
Girl: I’ve heard having sex in different rooms of the house helps that.
Guy #2: My wife and I just have sex with different people.

–Santa Monica Pier, California