Advice

Obnoxious girl #1: You must just have an abnormal period or something.
Obnoxious girl #2: Yeah, cause you're definitely not pregnant.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: j and kris

Passing local, to little boy feeding seagulls: Hey, you don’t want to do that. They’ll attack you.
Little boy: Okay. Thank you.

Local walks of earshot.

Little boy: What a bitch.

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Overheard by: sara

Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…

–Santa Monica, California

Lifeguard: Yo! The beach ain't no good! I said the beach ain't no good today! (sees attractive woman walking toward the beach) Hey there, listen, the beach isn't good today, okay?

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Nikki

Guy: If they try to get you to cook dinner, don't do it. That's how they try to control you.

–Redondo Beach, California

Girl with lower standards: I think you should go out with Spook. Yeah, I like him for you.
Girl with higher standards: He’s a drug dealer. Why would I want to date a drug dealer?
Girl with lower standards: He’s not a drug dealer.
Girl with higher standards: He sells me weed all the time.
Girl with lower standards: That’s just his part-time job.

–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Marissa

Mom to little boy: You do not pee on somebody unless they ask you to!

–Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: mad-the-hatter

Three women are standing outside of a bar.

Woman #1: Let’s go to Fred’s. It’s darker in there.

Women #2 and #3 nod in agreement, and they walk to Fred’s.

–Avalon, Jersey Shore

Kid #1: After this, we should sunbathe.
Kid #2: I don't want to sunbathe.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: I just don't.
Kid #1: But then you can get a tan!
Kid #2: I don't want a tan.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Because it sounds like “sand,” and I hate sand.

–Camping Ground, Kerikeri, New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly