Teen girl #1: I thought you hated bikinis.
Teen girl #2: I do.
Teen girl #1: Why are you wearing one?
Teen girl #2: Because even though I look fat in it, guys don’t look at you if you’re in tankinis.
Teen girl #1: But it’s okay for them to see your fat.
Teen girl #2: At least this way you look, and if you catch it on time, you just suck in!
–Vineyard Haven, Massachusetts
Overheard by: bikinibabe
Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let's go.
–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I was scared
Wrestler #1: The other day I went in the water, and I forgot my cell phone was in my pocket. It doesn’t work anymore.
Wrestler #2: Was it on?
Wrestler #1: Yes.
Wrestler #2: Well, you should have turned it off before you went in!
–The Black Sea
Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.
–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland
Cute guy, about credit card: Yeah, sorry it’s bent. I jumped off the bridge.
Clerk girl: You jumped off the bridge, huh? Yeah, it’s better if you do it naked.
–7-Eleven, Manteo, North Carolina
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Wife to husband: Baby, don’t get out in the water! Those kids will be hanging on you like remoras!
–Grand Isle, Louisiana
Girl to friend walking down the boardwalk: Yeah, just keep in mind he does have an STD.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: Hilary
Girl: We have to start drinking. It’s the only thing that will make us feel normal.
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Amy
