Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Father to small child: Is that from China? Get that out of your mouth!
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Teen girl to teen boy: Well, it ain't gonna lick itself!
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Guy selling beer: Ladies, if your man won't buy you a beer he ain't gonna buy you anything else!
Same guy selling beer, an hour later: If you don't drink beer, you're gonna die!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ramen
Hysterical mom to toddler in bathroom stall: Goddamit Jeffrey, stop trying to pull it off and just piss out of it!
–Bathroom Stall, Mall, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Camp counselor: Hurry up, or you’ll be left behind!
Kid: Then I’d get to stay here. Awesome!
Camp counselor: Frankly, it’s my last day, so I really don’t care.
–Third Beach, Newport, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Bored Beyond the Beach
Bostonian #1: I was thinking I should try out for Saturday Night Live or somethin’.
Bostonian #2: Yeah, you should, Vin. You are funny!
Bostonian #1: Yeah, I know! I mean, who’s funnier than me? Except for, you know, comedians.
–South Beach, Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: luna
Banana vendor: Bananas… Bananas… Two for a dollar! Bananas…
Topless girl in string bikini bottom: But I just need one…
Banana vendor: Why don’t you eat the other one?
–South Korea
