Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You’re younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: anna
Tourist: So where you from?
Hot girl: Uh, here. Where’d you think I was from?
Tourist: I dunno. It’s just that here, people are always like “Ooh, I’m from Venezuela” and I’m just like, dude, what the fuck is Venezuela?
–Miami Beach, Florida
Teen boy #1: I swear on my mom, if you just put that on you won’t get wet.
Teen boy #2: Then why the fuck is it called a wet suit?
–Cedar Lake, Minneapolis, Minnesota
White trash 7 year old, chasing seagulls: Varmits! Get away, you varmits!
Man: Does she mean varmints?
Woman: She’s from Indiana. That 10 year old next to her who is throwing the shovel at the seagulls is probably her mother.
–Indiana Dunes National Park
Teen #1: So he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "um… uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh."
Teen #2: No way!
Teen #1: Way.
–Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Translater Please!
10-year-old boy #1 in the pool: The sign says no flotation devices.
10-year-old boy #2: This isn't a flotation device, it's a boogie board.
10-year-old boy #1: A boogie board is a flotation device!
–Panama City, Florida
Overheard by: a schooner is a sailboat
Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: downtown
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
University of Miami girl: If I wasn’t me, I’d think I was stupid.
–Miami Beach, Florida
