Stoned girl: It’s really windy today. I wonder what it is on the Richter scale?

–Brighton Beach, United Kingdom

Overheard by: Chicken King

Little kid to mom, as storm is coming: If thunder claps while you're in the water, you're gonna die!

–Pawley's Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Running for Cover

Guy: See that dark area in the water slowly moving? It’s a school of fish
Girl: Wow, are you sure?
Guy: Yup — snapper.
Girl: Wow, that’s amazing. [Long pause] How come it’s now on the sand?
Guy: It could also be a cloud.

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Rob Kemper

Girl #1: So, I want to move somewhere cool and foreign.
Girl #2: Yeah, that would be great. Where?
Girl #1: I dunno, somewhere like San Francisco or Australia.
Girl #2: That would be so cool.

–Mission Bay, San Diego, California

Little girl: Mom, the water is cold.
Mom: Well, honey, it’s only August. When we come back in September, the water will be much much warmer.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Woman: I think I just heard thunder… do you think it’s gonna rain soon?
Lifeguard, looking into clear sky: Mmm… yeah. You might want to leave soon. It’s probably gonna rain any minute now.
Woman: Oh, OK. Hey, kids! Let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain!

–Caroga Lake, New York

Overheard by: Marc Wiley

Tattooed, bare-chested male #1: You could definitely walk a dog out here.
Tattooed, bare-chested male #2: You cannot! If you bring a dog onto a hot ass fuckin' boardwalk, the heat does not escape through his balls or his tongue.

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: SMS

Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.

–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland

Little girl, screaming to mother on an excruciatingly hot day: Mommy, my eyes are sweating!

–Coney Island Beach, New York

Girl to friend: It's so hot. I'm icing my nipples, and they're not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it's really that hot