Weather

Woman: I think I just heard thunder… do you think it’s gonna rain soon?
Lifeguard, looking into clear sky: Mmm… yeah. You might want to leave soon. It’s probably gonna rain any minute now.
Woman: Oh, OK. Hey, kids! Let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain!

–Caroga Lake, New York

Overheard by: Marc Wiley

Tattooed, bare-chested male #1: You could definitely walk a dog out here.
Tattooed, bare-chested male #2: You cannot! If you bring a dog onto a hot ass fuckin' boardwalk, the heat does not escape through his balls or his tongue.

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: SMS

Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.

–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland

Little girl, screaming to mother on an excruciatingly hot day: Mommy, my eyes are sweating!

–Coney Island Beach, New York

Girl to friend: It's so hot. I'm icing my nipples, and they're not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it's really that hot

Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!

–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California

Overheard by: Melissa

Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.

–Captiva Island, Florida

Guy to friend, in thick New York accent: Let's go on the cyclone and get the fuck outta here!

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Preston

Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Little girl in an excited hush: It looks like the desert… It even has lumps like the desert!

–Williamstown beach, Melbourne, Australia