Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!

–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California

Overheard by: Melissa

Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.

–Captiva Island, Florida

Guy to friend, in thick New York accent: Let's go on the cyclone and get the fuck outta here!

–Coney Island

Overheard by: Preston

Chick #1: Oh my god, look at that Will*! Isn’t he hot? He’s wearing a sweater, and it’s boiling!
Chick #2: Nah, junkies can’t feel.

–St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Little girl in an excited hush: It looks like the desert… It even has lumps like the desert!

–Williamstown beach, Melbourne, Australia

Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: wading nearby

Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It's mad hot out, you deported Dominican.

–Bergen Beach, New York

Overheard by: its not THAT hot out

Guy #1: What's going on? The sun went down but it's still raining?
Guy #2: Dude, why would the sun going down make it stop raining?
Guy #1: No, it totally does! It never rains at night.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Matt

Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.

–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lindsay

Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: dr. obvious