Einstein on the Beach

Bimbette: You know what I like?
Brother: …What?
Bimbette: No, I don’t know, I was asking. Like, for serious.

–Kiawah Island Resort, Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: hannah

Posted on November 20, 2022
Bimbettes, South Carolina, Stupidity

I Thought Gulf Was a Gasoline

Teen #1: … And then I got, like, swept out into the Pacific! It was so scary!
Teen #2: Don’t you mean the Atlantic?
Teen #1: Oh, yeah.
Teen #3: You guys are retards. That’s the Gulf of Mexico!
Teens #1 and #2: Ohhh.

–St. Simons Island, Georgia

Overheard by: just out for a walk

Posted on November 20, 2022
Georgia, Idiots, Stupidity

I'm Under the Sun…..Now

Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Antzolino

Posted on November 19, 2022
Geography, Idiots, Ladies, New York, On the phone, Questions, Stupidity

You've Never Ordered from Papa Johannesburg's?

Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.

–Mt. Clemens, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Posted on November 17, 2022
Food, Girls, Michigan, Questions, Stupidity

And You're Pretty Smart, Not Like a Blonde

Guy to couple: Hi!
Blonde wife: See, they're nice here, not like in California.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: cherry picker

Posted on November 14, 2022
California, Compare and contrast, Couples, Geography, Guys, Stupidity

Guess She Can Act, Too

Friend #1: You know who's really hot? Megan Fox.
Friend #2 (in nonchalant agreement): Yeah, she's really hot. (more excitedly) You know who else is hot?
Friend #1: Who?
Friend #2: That brunette chick from the Transformers movie–damn.
Friend #1: Megan Fox?
Friend #2: Oh.

–Guarujá, São Paulo, Brazil

Posted on November 13, 2022
About celebrities, Brazil, Friends, Movies, Physical Appearance, Questions, Stupidity

God Often Forgets to Rest on the Seventh Day

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Posted on November 11, 2022
Dads, Family, Gadgets, Girls, Jobs & careers, Massachusetts, Stupidity, Tweens

Not Smart Enough to Capitalize on Free Pussy

Bimbette looking at guy reading GRE study guide: What’s that?
Guy: Huh? [Bimbette points to title.] It’s a test I need to take to get my Master’s. [Bimbette looks confused.] It’s like the SATs for graduate school.
Bimbette: So you’re, like, smart and shit. [Guy stares at her and then walks away.]

–St. Pete Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Chicagoan in FL