Bigmouth: I don’t care where we go, but I am not sitting with Allen… Oh, hi, Allen!
–Fire Island Pines, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Girl: What’s the number for 411?
–Sag Main, Sagaponack, New York
Overheard by: Friend on the Beach
Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!
–Panama City, Florida
Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: sick of bennies
Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.
–Palos Verdes, California
Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.’
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Blonde: Why is this water, like, salty?
Brunette: Uhhh, it’s sea water — the ocean is salty.
Blonde: Yeah, but I thought this was the Gulf…
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: tourist lover
