Randy Found Her Unresponsive, Cowlike Demeanor Strangely Arousing

Fat dude on awkward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I didn’t put ‘Let’s meet at Starbucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hmmm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a problem with alcohol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a problem with it.
Fat dude, after long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what other hobbies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.

–Golden Gardens Park, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Brooke

Posted on October 22, 2022
Dating, Drinking, Drunks, Fat people, Idiots, Stupidity, Washington

Why Don't You Just Check the Polygraph?

Stoned girl: It’s really windy today. I wonder what it is on the Richter scale?

–Brighton Beach, United Kingdom

Overheard by: Chicken King

Posted on October 18, 2022
Druggies, Questions, Stupidity, UK, Weather

Come Give Mommy a Big Hug

Bigmouth: I don’t care where we go, but I am not sitting with Allen… Oh, hi, Allen!

–Fire Island Pines, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Posted on October 14, 2022
Gripes, Idiots, Names, New York, Stupidity

Wow, Am I Lost

Girl: Excuse me, what lake is this?
Street vendor: The Atlantic one.

–Portland, Maine

Posted on October 11, 2022
Geography, Girls, Maine, Nature, Questions, Stupidity, Vendors

Believe Me, They Don't Want to Talk to You

Girl: What’s the number for 411?

–Sag Main, Sagaponack, New York

Overheard by: Friend on the Beach

Posted on October 10, 2022
Girls, New York, Questions, Stupidity

Here, Talk to My Dad While I Go Throw Up

Drunk college girl to drunk college boy: We have the same cell phone…we have so much in common!

–Panama City, Florida

Posted on October 7, 2022
Drunks, Florida, Frat boys, Gadgets, Sorority girls, Stupidity

You Might Find Some in Between the Condoms and Syringes

Hick tourist, pointing to the ocean: So is that there salt water?
Island Beach State Park worker, after long confused pause: It's the ocean.
Hick tourist: Yeah, but does it like, have salt in it?

–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: sick of bennies

Posted on October 4, 2022
Clerks, Nature, New Jersey, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists

Last Summer She Tried to Get Hawaii to Come About

Woman: Excuse me, is that Catalina?
Man: No, Catalina is over there.
Woman: Oh, well, what island is that?
Man: Um, that’s a ship.

–Palos Verdes, California

Posted on October 2, 2022
California, Comebacks, Default, Geography, Guys, Ladies, Questions, Stupidity

We Could Call Ourselves 'The Circle Jerks' — Unless that's Taken

Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts-off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.’
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Posted on September 28, 2022
Compliments, Delaware, Geography, Meatheads, Stupidity

And Let's Not Even Talk About Where They're Putting It!

Little kid, running in tears: I'm in the twilight zone! Adults are playing with sand!

–Coney Island Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: ksenka

Posted on September 25, 2022
Kids, Nature, New York, Stupidity, Weirdness

Stupidity