Bimbette #1: I can’t believe you’re trying to learn Spanish just so you can hook up with that waiter.
Bimbette #2: [Mutters in Spanish.]Bimbette #1: What are you trying to say?
Bimbette #2: My eyes are brown.
Bimbette #1: You just said my eyes are a Muslim religion!
–Rocky Point, Mexico
Overheard by: oh my
Chubby eight-year-old boy, walking and kicking sand up with his feet: Woah! Ma! Look at this! They've even got real sand here!
Exasperated mom, clutching French fries: No shit! It's real sand! Buying fake sand would be dumb. Everyone would steal it.
–The Bahamas
Overheard by: Fake sand maker
Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Chad
Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??
–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Guy: Why is there water on the outside of my can?
Girl: I don’t know. I think it has to do with cold.
–Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Overheard by: Kristy
20-something trailer park chick: This one time I was napping, and I just let the baby crawl around the house. I woke up ’cause I felt this tug on the blankets, and I look down and she was makin’ this choking sound! So I beat on her back, right, and this penny came out. When my husband came home I was like, ‘You can’t be leavin’ change lyin’ around the house!’ But, you know, I just knew something was wrong. Just the way she was tugging on my blankets and that sound she was making, I just knew. It’s that mother-daughter thing, you know?
–Palm Beach Shores, Florida
Overheard by: Ethan
Pilot on PA: We’ll be making our final descent to Oahu International Airport shortly.
Blonde cheerleader: Oh my god! I thought we were going to Honolulu!
9-year-old boy nearby: Honolulu is the city on Oahu, you idiot.
Blonde cheerleader: Oh… Well, how am I supposed to know that?
–Plane to Hawaii
Overheard by: Derek
Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.
–The Dunes, Michigan
Woman pointing to fishing pier: Where did that bridge used to lead to?
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lifeguard
