Girl #1: How do my boobs look?
Girl #2: Like oranges. Seriously, you need to quit that fake tanning shit.
Girl #1: Suck my dick.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Fat black girl running in bikini: Yo, bitch, why you didn’t tell me my titty was hangin’ out?! Shit!
Innocent, spooked bystander girl: What?!
Fat black girl running in bikini: Never mind, bitch!
–Brighton Beach, New York
New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam
Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.
–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Beeeej
Little boy staring at girl in bikini: But why can’t I have boobies, Mom?! I want them!
–Jersey Shore
Southern blonde to older, female family members: Aaaah, there's a bee in my titties!
(commotion ensues)
Sketchy guy, loudly: I'll look for it if you want.
–San Juan Beach, Puerto Rico
Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she's nice but she's a slut-and-a-half!
–Brighton Beach, New York
Big-boobed lady to a man’s wife: Yes, they’re real. Would you like to feel for yourself? You’re staring at them more than your husband is.
–New Smyrna Beach, Florida
Overheard by: trying not to make like I was listening
Guido hitting on underage girls: I’m gonna go home and shave my tits, and then we’re having a house party.
–Rockaway Beach, New York