Rack

Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?

Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.

Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.

–Miami, Florida

Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.

–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.

–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Tony: So, tell me about them.
Ralph: Her tits?
Tony: Yeah.
Ralph: Okay, you know those kinda tits — the Mount Everest kind?
Tony: Yeah, yeah…
Ralph: And you know those kinda tits — the Mount Whitney kind?
Tony: Uh-huh.
Ralph: They were a cross between those.
Tony: Ohhh. Solid, man, solid.

–The Hamptons, New York

Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.

–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Andrea

Guy staring at topless girl speaks rapidly in Norwegian, then: Topless! Yay!

–Fraser Island, Queensland, Australia

Guy on bus to friends: So the longer those titties were in front of me, the happier I became.

–Brisbane, Australia

Man: What’s with the safety pin holding your top together?
Flat-chested girl: Oh, you know, my boobs are just so big that my top busted! [Man bursts out laughing.] Okay, it wasn’t that funny…

–South Padre Island, Texas

Overheard by: gal in black

Girl to friend: It's so hot. I'm icing my nipples, and they're not even getting erect.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Yep, it's really that hot

Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.

–Florida

Overheard by: Northern Lad