Southern blonde to older, female family members: Aaaah, there’s a bee in my titties!
(commotion ensues)
Sketchy guy, loudly: I’ll look for it if you want.

–San Juan Beach, Puerto Rico

Girl on beach to group of friends: My college roommate worked at Hooters, she’s nice but she’s a slut‐and‐a‐half!

–Brighton Beach, New York

Big‐boobed lady to a man’s wife: Yes, they’re real. Would you like to feel for yourself? You’re staring at them more than your husband is.

–New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: trying not to make like I was listening

Guido hitting on underage girls: I’m gonna go home and shave my tits, and then we’re having a house party.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Petite blonde with small breasts: I have my own boobs… I don’t care about anyone else’s boobs.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Guy to friend: If they’re not Tara Reid, I don’t want to see their tits.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!

–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where? 

Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather. 

Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.

–Miami, Florida