Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Blonde teen: You know that woman we saw at Ikea last year, the one that was like, massively, explosively pregnant?
Brunette teen: Yeah?
Blonde teen: Well I've been wondering…
Brunette teen: If she's had her baby yet?
Blonde teen: No, I wonder if she named her baby “Ikea.”
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Jedda
Little old lady, stumbling on the boardwalk with her husband: Oh my goodness! There's no railing on the edge? What? Someone could just fall right off! If they were as drunk as me, anyways.
–Key West, Florida
Overheard by: Caroline Oldfield
Spring breaker bimbette #1, about ordering drinks: And get Coco Rico, and Sex on the Beach…
Spring breaker bimbette #2, interrupting: Wait, isn't there also something called Sex in the Basement?
–Tamarindo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: one of them spoke decent Spanish, at least
JAP lady: Do those planes have to be so loud?
–Air Show with the Blue Angels, Jones Beach, New York
Overheard by: Joanna
Lifeguard #1: So, what would you do if somebody came to you with a bat bite?
Lifeguard #2: Ummm… Clean up the wound, I guess.
Lifeguard #1: [Long pause] What would you do for someone with a clown bite?
–Echo Lake, Maine
Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Blonde #1: Are you wearing that sunscreen that tastes good?
Blonde #2: What?
Blonde #1: Your sunscreen smells really good. Is it the kind that tastes good?
Blonde #2: How do you know how sunscreen tastes?
Blonde #1: Oh, I’ll tell you later.
–Natural Bridges, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: just trying to get a tan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
