Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who's Tyler?
–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana
Girl: Oh my God! This water is really cold, can you turn the heater up?
Lifeguard, returning from locker room: There you go, it should be better now.
Girl: Hey, this really does feel warmer. Thanks, lifeguard!
–Caroga Lake, New York
Overheard by: Marc Wiley
White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Overheard by: Ann
Older guy: We had dinner there earlier in the week. I got food poisoning.
Young kayaking guide: Really? Was it good?
–York Beach, Maine
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Women on cell walking down a 2-mile beach: I am right by the water. Where are you?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Antzolino
Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.
–Santa Cruz, California
