Guy #1: Let's go local hunting.
Hot girl: I don't want to go fucking local hunting.
Guy #2: You should, it's mad fun. We went to this local party once and got kicked out.
Guy #1: Yeah, but we got the number of this kid who lives here.
Ugly girl: Wait. People live here?
–Westhampton Beach, New York
Overheard by: Doesn't live there
Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I've always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: Max
Drunk girl: Wow, those cookies are sooo big! How do they do that?
–Highway 98 East, Destin, Florida
Overheard by: restaurant bitch
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that's the Pacific ocean.
–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Mother to young child: Do you hear the ship, honey?
Child: No, mommy, I don't.
Mother: Do you feel the ship moving?
Child: Yes! I feel my shit moving.
–Carnival Freedom Cruise, Caribbean Sea
Overheard by: InTheNextStall
Tourist: What happened to the beach? It's like…buried in sand!
–Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shanna
Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that's all I ask. Is that too much to ask?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Jericho
50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
