Girl #1: What did you do to get community service?
Girl #2: My cousin set me up with this guy. She said “he's cute, he 18.” He was 15.
–Nahant, Massachusetts
Girl #1: What did you do to get community service?
Girl #2: My cousin set me up with this guy. She said “he's cute, he 18.” He was 15.
–Nahant, Massachusetts
Ditz: Do you still tan if you don’t lie down?
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: the imbiber
Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?
–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland
Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde
Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.
–Stoney Beach, Maryland
Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad
Girl: I like the smell of that. What is it?
Guy: Garbage.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: zsaint
Long Island wife: Shawn! Shawn, you idiot, your son wants to come swimming with you!
Long Island husband: Did you just call me an idiot?
[A fight erupts and wife is so upset she starts packing.]Long Island husband: What are you doing? You said you wanted to go to the beach today!
Long Island wife: We’ve been to the beach, and the beach fucking sucks!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sat near them on the plane going home two days later, too
Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Police officer: You’re under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they’re from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
–Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
