Questions

Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?

–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York

Son: Mommy, why haven't the sharks ripped those other fish apart?

–New York Aquarium, Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: Alex Remnick

Dad: What grows in the marsh, baby?
Little girl: Marshmallows?
Dad, to mom: You want her to go to what college?

–Tybee Island, Georgia

Overheard by: Sullivan

Girl #1: Yeah, it's totally going to be my de-mice.
Girl #2: De-mice?
Girl #1: De-meese?
Girl #2: What? Demise?
Girl #1: Whatever.

–Virginia Beach

Girl: So, I've finally decided what I want to do in life. I'm done with modeling. I am going to create a product, and sell it for charity.
Guy: Oh, that's cool. What's the charity?
Girl: I haven't decided yet. I'm still working on it.
Guy: Oh, okay.
Girl: I need to decide on the product too.

–Miami Beach, Florida

Little girl: Mommy! What is that?
Mother: Careful, honey, that’s a crab.
Little girl: Is that the same thing you said Aunt Kathy had last year?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Biel

Girl #1: I didn’t break any of the 10 Commandments today ’cause I was on a plane.
Girl #2: What’s a plane?

–Malibu, California

Guy #1: Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Guy #2: The drink or actual sex?
Guy #1: Actual sex.
Guy #2: With a girl?
Guy #1: What the hell else would I mean?! Yeah, with a girl!
Guy #2: Like, actually having sex on the sand, like, right here.
Guy #1: Yeah, like in the sand with a girl on the beach, having sex.
Guy #2: You mean, like, full-on bump and grind sex or a quick fingerbang?
Guy #1: Sex, man, sex!
Guy #2: Because there are many types of sex, like anal and oral…
Guy #1: Full fucking sex! Just answer the question! Have you had sex on the beach? Jesus!
Guy #2: No, man, I haven’t.
Guy #1: You’re a fucking moron.

–Panama City, Florida

Overheard by: walking behind them trying not to bust a gut

Hairdresser to client: Hey… Um… Remember when I did your hair?
Client: Yeah?
Hairdresser: Wait, you were there, right?
Client: Yeah babe, I was there.

–Venice Beach, California

Girl: Let's eat here, it's better value.
Boy: More satisfying?
Girl: No. What satisfies me, they don't sell here.

–Sushi Bar, Gold Coast, Australia