Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven't seen you forever.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more often. How are you?
Woman #1: Don't even ask. Only a couple of weeks ago I realized I had crabs, and just yesterday I found out my daughter has herpes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least you're getting some action.
–Melbourne, Australia
Overheard by: Marissa
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
Drunk boy: Anemic? Isn't that when you eat too much white bread?
–Poolside, Perth, Australia
Annoyed dad to crying baby: Do you want to be buried alive or what?!
–Honeymoon Island, Florida
Overheard by: Christa
Girl #1: Seriously, what are we going to do?
Girl #2: Take over the world?
–Boynton Beach, Florida
Beach girl in group of people: Wait! Ellen DeGeneres is gay?! Since when?
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Colleen
Beach wedding guest #1: Why is it so fucking hot here? Don't they have any shade for us to sit under?
Beach wedding guest #2: This better be fast. They don't want me all sweaty at the reception.
Beach wedding guest #1: Fucking Florida. I can't wait to get back to Michigan. And real weather.
–Captiva Island, Florida
