Kid #1: After this, we should sunbathe.
Kid #2: I don't want to sunbathe.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: I just don't.
Kid #1: But then you can get a tan!
Kid #2: I don't want a tan.
Kid #1: Why?
Kid #2: Because it sounds like “sand,” and I hate sand.
–Camping Ground, Kerikeri, New Zealand
Overheard by: Kelly
Teen girl reading rope candy wrapper at snack bar: 24 inches of flavor and fun!
Random middle aged hobo: Sounds like a midget I used to date!
–San Clemente, California
Bikini girl to older man: Yeah, he dumped her because she didn't put out. I mean, you're a high school guy, are you really going to stay with a girl who doesn't put out? Also, she kinda had a mustache.
–Morgan Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Kim
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he would be cute if he had better teeth.
Teen girl #2: Or a smaller nose.
Teen girl #3: He'd be cute if he was completely different.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Guy, about his infant son’s abnormally long ass crack: Some day that one’s gonna be the toast of San Francisco.
–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Reading Man
Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!
–Santa Cruz, California
Guy: Can you pass the ChapStick? Because “lip gloss” has the taint.
–Cambria, California
Overheard by: nadia
Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they're far perkier.
–Uvongo Beach, South Africa
Overheard by: dizziebean
Drunk girl to another: Where did you get this thing? The ridiculous… Things… Store?
–Carnival Cruise, Carribbean
