Old folks

Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!

–Beach near Naples, Florida

Overheard by: X

Little boy: Why is that woman walking faster than us?
Grandfather (frustrated): I have no explanation for this!

–Sauble Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: Totally walking faster than them

(on board a ferry full of black people)
Elderly southern woman: Seems to me there are a lot of blacks here.
Half deaf elderly husband: What?
Elderly southern woman: Blacks!

–Ferry, Bermuda

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Older man: Look, if you're really worried about it…
Younger woman, with full mouth: I am! I'm having trouble sleeping.
Older man: Then you should get a restraining order.

–Beach Footpath, Australia

Overheard by: I Wish I Heard the Start

Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!

–Seaside, Oregon

Overheard by: Arianne

Old lady #1: You don’t see so much sea glass anymore.
Old lady #2: Yeah, people don’t litter like they used to.
Old lady #1: That’s getting to be a real problem, isn’t it?

–Montara Beach, California

Overheard by: comber

Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you're having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?

–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida

Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.

Little boy: I like pizza!
Older guy: Me too.
Little boy: I eat pizza in a garbage pail!

–Sun & Surf Beach Club, Atlantic Beach, New York

Overheard by: Kristen

Wife: Murray! Cover up! Your business is hanging out of your bathing suit!
Husband, nonplussed: That business closed down years ago.

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Larry