Old folks

Granddaughter: Did you have fun in Hong Kong?
Grandma: Well, yes, there was a lot of Asian food.
Grandpa: And the people were all shorter than you!
Granddaughter: Really…

–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia

Adult son to mom: Thanks for babysitting the kids, ma. You know why I love you?
Rockin granny: Cuz I breastfed you for 12 years?
Ten year old grandson: Oh my god!

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Little girl: Grandma, you’re old!
Grandma: How old do you think I am, sweetie?
Little girl: I dunno… like, 16, or something.

–Wilmington, North Carolina

Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Preppy 60-something #1: Now you only owe me 10,463 martinis.
Preppy 60-something #2: Yep, she owes me a bunch, too.

–Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!

–Beach near Naples, Florida

Overheard by: X

Little boy: Why is that woman walking faster than us?
Grandfather (frustrated): I have no explanation for this!

–Sauble Beach, Canadia

Overheard by: Totally walking faster than them

(on board a ferry full of black people)
Elderly southern woman: Seems to me there are a lot of blacks here.
Half deaf elderly husband: What?
Elderly southern woman: Blacks!

–Ferry, Bermuda

Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)

–Ocean City, Maryland

Older man: Look, if you're really worried about it…
Younger woman, with full mouth: I am! I'm having trouble sleeping.
Older man: Then you should get a restraining order.

–Beach Footpath, Australia

Overheard by: I Wish I Heard the Start