Old man: Honey, do you feel better now that I’ve started wearing shorter socks?
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Old lady, walking with husband: I don't really understand the problem. I mean, I throw more parties than the college kids!
–Pennfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: Meg
Older rich man: I stopped using soap back in '74. There's a lot to be said for some hot water and a good scrub.
–Destin, Florida
Bikini girl to older man: Yeah, he dumped her because she didn't put out. I mean, you're a high school guy, are you really going to stay with a girl who doesn't put out? Also, she kinda had a mustache.
–Morgan Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Kim
Old lady: I think he's a delightful young man and so is she.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J.
Tween #1: Ohmigod. It’s soooo sandy.
Tween #2: Um, it’s a beach.
Random old man: Damn teeny boppers.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: I hate shoobies.
Old man #1: This one girl, she let me play with myself.
Old man #2: Oh, yeah?
Old man #1: Yeah… And some of them even let you touch their tits.
Old man #2: Do you still go to Long Island for that?
–Compo Beach, Westport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Forgot my iPod
Young woman: I think Grandma’s looking down on us from heaven.
Old lady: I hear that’s a nice place.
Young woman: I’ve been there — it’s awesome!
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Robin M.
Elderly husband to leather-tanned wife taking top off on the beach: Jesus Christ, Mary! Put those things away,will you? Nobody wants to see that.
–Playa Del Carmen, Mexico
Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??
–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
