Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crab
Chick #1: I hope the water isn’t painfully cold.
Chick #2: Eh, even if it is, pain is weakness leaving the body!
Chick #1: It’s pretty cold.
Chick #2: Yeah…Cold is just heat leaving the body.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: wading nearby
Woman, smacking her son over the head: Don’t hit your friends!
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew
Little boy to friend: You wouldn't even know about Jesus if it wasn't for me!
–Wild Wood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Andie
Bikini girl #1: Oh my god, he was totally sleeping, and his member was, like, totally awake. Like, hello?!
Bikini girl #2, giggling: Yeah, hello?!
Bikini girl #3, giggling: Hello?!
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Cute four-year-old to slightly chubbier four-year-old digging hole in the sand: Whatcha doing?
Chubby four-year-old: You can't play with me.
Cute four-year-old: Oh. (pause) Well, you're fat. (walks away)
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: The Older Sister
Meathead: Dude! Your trunks, they're too short.
Hot dude wearing 80s trunks: Dude! This is America, I can wear whatever I want.
Meathead: This is not America. This is New Jersey!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Girl on cell: Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm in the library. (pause) Yes. (pause) No, I can't talk, I'm studying.
–Blemar Beach, New Jersey
Little boy: Why do you live in New York now?
Uncle: Well, the family don't love me anymore.
Little boy: Huh? But…?
Uncle: Yeah, but you're lucky, they still love you. If they didn't, you'd have to live in New York with me.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Kate-in-Oz
Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Thommy
