New Jersey

Guy #1: Dude, but she is so annoying.
Guy #2: Yeah I know what you mean, but what else can you do?
Guy #1: I dunno, dude, but I’m not gonna take a shit on her. That’s freaking weird! I’m not into that!
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.

–Manasquan Inlet Beach, New Jersey

Man: One small monkey bread, please.
Girl: What’s a monkey bread?
Man: I have no idea.

–Monkey Bread Café, Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kristin

Girl: I'm such a Jew when it comes to…
Boy, exasperated: Why can't you just say “frugal”?!

–Atlantic City, New Jersey

Guy: I don't understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That's like saying, “my nipples don't argue.”
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: raerae

Guy to another: Dude! I had to google “milf”, I didn't know what it meant!

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Tourist: What happened to the beach? It's like…buried in sand!

–Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Shanna

Guy to pal: Dude, I am pissed. When we were at your mom’s house the other night, she didn’t even give me a taco. That is horse shit. My mom always gives you a taco.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Daughter: Mom, why do you have to go to the bathroom already? We just went a few minutes ago!
Mother: I don't know… I guess I'm like a dog, I have to leave my scent everywhere…

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.

–Ocean Grove, New Jersey