New Jersey

Mother: Honey, do you want some cheddar cheese Pringles?
Kid: Sure.
Mother: See, they have zero grams trans fat. That’s really important now.

–Bradley Beach, Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Townie broad #1: You can tell how a man treats a woman by how he treats his bike.
Townie broad #2: Bill keeps his in the garage and hasn't ridden it in five years.

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!

–Avon Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: NotFromJersey

Sunbathing girl: Ahhh! Burning sensation!

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Kristin

20-ish blonde: What time is it in Florida?

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Girl #1: Do you think a guy would tell you if he had a girlfriend?
Girl #2: Yes, of course he would!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: kate

Girl #1: But then I thought, ‘Why the hell would he kiss her when he has me?’
Girl #2: Uh, because of the herpes?
Girl #1: Fuck you.

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: J.Tro

Five-year-old girl looking at dead jellyfish: I wonder what flavor jelly it likes…

–Atlantic City, New Jersey

Overheard by: jared

Teen girl #1: Are you done yet?
Teen girl #2: Still haven’t done it yet… By the way, you might not want to get in the way of the current!
Boy: Gross! She’s peeing!
Teen girl #2: Shhh! Everyone can hear you!

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Teen girl: He saw some girl’s boobs.
Father: Did you see some girl’s boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Did you see some girl’s boobs?
Toddler boy: Nooo.
Father: Were they as big as Grandma’s?
Toddler boy: Nooo.

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: hc