Chick: Okay, that girl over there is the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen.
Dude: You’re so mean. [Dude looks] Oh my god!
Chick: I told you!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Chick: Okay, that girl over there is the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen.
Dude: You’re so mean. [Dude looks] Oh my god!
Chick: I told you!
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cols
Skateboarding surfer to six Hasidic Jews: Hey! Cowboys!
–Ventnor City, New Jersey
Overheard by: walking on the other side
Tween girl: Look I can float, and I don’t have big boobs!
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jenn
Brooklyn kid pointing to training buoys: What are those big red things floating out there?
Lifeguard: Oh, that’s our shark fence.
Brooklyn kid: What?!
Lifeguard: Yeah, that’s our electric shark fence. It keeps the sharks out. Unless they were already in when we put it up — then they are stuck inside.
–New Jersey
Guido in wife beater and jeans halfway down his ass: Anal sex hurts me.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I’m going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We’re never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: DennyCrane
Toddler grumpily trudging through the sand: Change my diaper!
–Island Park State Beach, New Jersey
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dan
Mechanic, returning car: I got a wireless cable.
–Wildwood Crest, New Jersey
Teen girl: Of course she will get naked, she is slutty… I will get naked too, next time, but you guys respect me, right? Oh look, there’s a nude dude… [Points at stranger.] Want to see if I can get him hard?
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey