Older brother: Okay, okay, run around and grab all the sand and pick it up and throw it on the ground as fast as you can.
(little brother stares cluelessly at older brother)
Older brother: No, you fail!
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joseph Hammerman
Walkie-talkie guy #1: What’s going on?! Why are all of the fire trucks going to the north end?
Walkie-talkie guy #2: There was probably some sort of emergency!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Walkie-talkie guy #1: What’s going on?! Why are all of the fire trucks going to the north end?
Walkie-talkie guy #2: There was probably some sort of emergency!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Tank-topped boardwalk guy to friend: We’re a different breed. If we were any closer to circus folk…
–Seaside Heights Boardwalk, Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Girl on cell: Suck a dick! Tell Vanessa to suck a dick too!
–Long Branch, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mr. Pacman and the Pacman Ghost
Girl: He's a whore. He's a huge, huge, well-hung whore.
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Brainiac: Are you allowed to skinny dip here?
–Nude beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Meathead: I’m sick of drama, and I’m sick of people coming down and crashing at my beach house. It’s so annoying when people just use my stuff. Can I have some of your water?
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy: My god, what is that?
Chick: What?
Guy: This thing here. Medical waste is washing up on the shore.
Chick: What are you talking about?
Guy: Right there. It’s a breast implant.
Chick: It’s a jellyfish, you ninny.
Guy: … I wondered why there were so many.
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Woman #1: Oh my god! How are you?
Woman #2: I’m great! How are you?
Woman #1: I’m great! How’s your walrus?
Woman #2: Oh, he’s fine. I’m keeping him in my living room.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Kraemer
