Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Limping girl with bandages and arm in a sling: I dunno, he started driving away so I just grabbed on.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It's better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice
Dude on cell: Yeah, but dude, what could she have done that was so bad you had to hit her in the face with a bottle?
–Monmouth Beach, New Jersey
Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!
–Seaside Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tess
Five-year-old as old lady swims by: Grandpa, how much older can a woman get?!
–Harry Wright Lake, Manchester, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Put on More SPF
Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?
–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey
Bimbette: I thought he was a paraplegic, but it turned out he was just lazy.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patricia
Drunk wedding guest: Hey, cool! I wonder what bay that is…
Sober guest: Uh, that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: Are you sure? It looks too calm to be an ocean.
Sober guest: We’re as far East as you can get in New Jersey. That’s the ocean.
Drunken wedding guest: I think it’s some sort of bay.
Sober guest: There’s no land on the other side! It’s the ocean!
–Sea Bright, New Jersey
Overheard by: I looked at the map
Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mikey
Naked guy #1: My girlfriend thinks it's weird that you and I come here every weekend.
Naked guy #2: Why? Did you tell her Mike and Rob come too?
Naked guy #1: Nah dude, I don't want her to think we're gay.
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
