Trick Question… They're All Equally Gross Once You Hit Thirty-Five

Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!

–South Haven, Michigan

Posted on October 28, 2022
Food, Michigan, Moms

That's What You Said About the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria

Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.

–South Haven, Michigan

Posted on September 24, 2022
Dads, Kids, Michigan, Questions, Stupidity, Words

Predator UAV Designers: 'Eeeexcellent!'

Fat guy: Oh boy, that plane looks just like a seagull. You’d never see it coming! Oh wait, that is a seagull.

–Air show, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Steve W

Posted on September 6, 2022
Animals, Default, Fat people, Guys, Idiots, Michigan, Stupidity

He Became a Dwarf Just So He Could Say That

Dwarf to drunk chick at bar: So, have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

–Manistee, Michigan

Overheard by: Gabby

Posted on July 29, 2022
Eating out, Guys, Michigan, Questions

You Mean While You Were Out Spreading Herpes?

Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?

–Lake Michigan

Posted on July 2, 2022
Diet and Weight, Friends, Girls, Insults, Michigan, Physical Appearance, Questions

For the Same Reason the Back of Your Hand Looks Different from the Front

Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn't it look like this in Chicago?

–Petoskey, Michigan

Posted on May 23, 2022
Geography, Kids, Michigan, Moms, Nature, Questions