Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!

–South Haven, Michigan

Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.

–South Haven, Michigan

Fat guy: Oh boy, that plane looks just like a seagull. You’d never see it coming! Oh wait, that is a seagull.

–Air show, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Steve W

Dwarf to drunk chick at bar: So, have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

–Manistee, Michigan

Overheard by: Gabby

Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?

–Lake Michigan

Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn't it look like this in Chicago?

–Petoskey, Michigan

Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

Girl wearing bikini to group of girls wearing chunky sneakers, shorts with suspenders and bedazzled tank tops: Why are you guys wearing that?
Girl in group, nonchalantly: Cuz' we lookin' swagalicious.

–St. Joseph, Michigan

Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible.


Girl, noticing bird poop on leg: Oh, shit! Why do I always get pooped on?!

–Oval Beach, Michigan

Overheard by: Steph