Teen girl #1: Oh my god, you can see his balls!
Teen girl #2: There’s nothing grosser than dad-balls.
Teen girl #1: Grandpa-balls!

–Stoney, Michigan

Overheard by: Waggies

Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.

–Mt. Clemens, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Thin little girl: Let me see it! Let me see it!
Fat little girl: No! MY dead fish!

–Lake Erie, Monroe, Michigan

Overheard by: sandra g

Woman: Her shorts were kinda baggy so she just tucked them under her boobs.

–Warren Dunes, Michigan

Overheard by: Syd O’Banion

Mom: Hey, Jason! I’ll give you fiiive dollars if you can catch a seagull!
Kid: So?
Mom: That’s like… eight Twinkies! [Kid begins chasing gulls.] Oh, look, he’s trying to hit them with rocks!

–South Haven, Michigan

Little boy: Dad, what's the navy?
Dad: It's the army, but with boats.

–South Haven, Michigan

Fat guy: Oh boy, that plane looks just like a seagull. You’d never see it coming! Oh wait, that is a seagull.

–Air show, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Steve W

Dwarf to drunk chick at bar: So, have you ever had a dwarf go up on you?

–Manistee, Michigan

Overheard by: Gabby

Girl to friend in hot-pants: What have you been doing besides looking fat in those shorts all day?

–Lake Michigan

Little girl: Mommy, is this Lake Michigan?
Mom: Yes, honey.
Little girl: Then why doesn't it look like this in Chicago?

–Petoskey, Michigan