Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

Girl wearing bikini to group of girls wearing chunky sneakers, shorts with suspenders and bedazzled tank tops: Why are you guys wearing that?
Girl in group, nonchalantly: Cuz' we lookin' swagalicious.

–St. Joseph, Michigan

Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible.


Girl, noticing bird poop on leg: Oh, shit! Why do I always get pooped on?!

–Oval Beach, Michigan

Overheard by: Steph

White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.

–Pickerel Lake, Michigan

Overheard by: Maude Lynne

20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!


Woman: It wasn’t a boob reduction. It was a boob elimination. You know, a man-sectomy.

–Warren Dunes, Lake Michigan

Overheard by: Andrea

20-something girl #1: So, she’s pregnant?
20-something girl #2: No, I just didn’t want to sit by the soda machine.

–Warren Dunes, Michigan

Tan woman: Did you pack a swimsuit?
Pale woman: Yes, I always do.
Tan woman: So you'll go to the beach?
Pale woman: I have packed the same suit for my last five summer vacations, it still has the tags on it. What do you think the odds are?

–Emerald Isle Ferry, Michigan

Overheard by: i'm surrounded by water, isn't that enough

Guy #1: Wow, I guess Michigan is the fattest state.
Guy #2: No way is it the fattest state. Think about Kentucky. An entire town full of fat, ugly chicks, and one Daisy Duke.
Guy #1: Who?
Guy #2: You need to learn more history.

–Lake Michigan