Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick!
–Robert Moses, New York
Overheard by: Zep
Skinny white guy, unaware that white girlfriend’s huge black brother is walking behind him: I don’t know why, but I just really want to fuck a black chick!
–Robert Moses, New York
Overheard by: Zep
Guido: I really wanna get a tan today.
Bored girl: Sure.
Guido: Do you think there's enough sun to get a tan today?
Bored girl: I don't know. Maybe.
Guido: Will going in the water help me get a tan?
Bored girl: It might.
Guido: I really wanna get tan.
Bored girl: So where are you going to college?
–Coney Island
Guy #1: Wow, I guess Michigan is the fattest state.
Guy #2: No way is it the fattest state. Think about Kentucky. An entire town full of fat, ugly chicks, and one Daisy Duke.
Guy #1: Who?
Guy #2: You need to learn more history.
–Lake Michigan
Girl: What is that?!
Guy, flipping it over: Oh my God. Are those eye sockets?
Girl: Ewww. That’s no jellyfish.
Guy: It looks like an alligator head.
Girl: But alligators aren’t in salt water. Maybe it got lost?
Guy: Look it has a…spine?
Girl: But a head wouldn’t have a-
Woman sitting nearby: -It’s a chicken breast. I just threw it out.
Girl and Guy: Oh.
–St. Augustine, Florida
Overheard by: Cristen
Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.
Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.
Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!
Holds up sign that says “9.”
Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?
–Sunset Beach, Florida
Overheard by: MangoJoe
Guy on cell: It's not gay if you use tweezers.
–Tampa, Florida
Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: boxface
Guy, reading back of girl’s shirt, which says “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”: I love that t-shirt! 5 cocks!
–Cherry Grove, Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Tom Johnson
Dramatic guy to woman at seaside restaurant: DC? Washington, DC, did you ask? DC is a fuckfest!
–Provincetown
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
