Girls

Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…

–Auckland, New Zealand

Overheard by: Shakira

Girl #1: Who really invented pizza?
Girl #2: I think it was the Africans.
Guy: Africans? Come on, they're still not eating pizza.

–Mt. Clemens, Michigan

Overheard by: Lauren

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Thin little girl: Let me see it! Let me see it!
Fat little girl: No! MY dead fish!

–Lake Erie, Monroe, Michigan

Overheard by: sandra g

Father: Okay okay okay, let’s go now.
Tween daughter #1: Why? We have company! Can’t we stay?
Father: I have no coverage here. I have calls to make. I have to work. No work, no play, no food, no house, no fun, no beach, no vacation.
Tween daughter #2: No beach?
Father: How do you think this beach got here? My hard work.

–Nauset Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amazed observer

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Girl on cell: Sure, we can get together tonight… that sounds good… I won’t do that! Are you TRYING to put my vagina in danger?

–Rockaway Beach, Brooklyn, New York

Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

Trendy overdressed girl: Oh my god, did you see all those teenagers lurking outside? They think they're so fucking cool! God!
Trendy overdressed guy: I know.
Trendy overdressed girl: It's like, ever since we turned 20, I can't believe we ever hung out with people like that.

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: 22-year-old who's glad she never hung out with either of them