Friends

Girl to friend: He was upset because she wouldn't let him cum on her face!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Middle-aged woman to friend: Well, she had to get it long before she could use it.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Tim Berzins

Dude #1: You know how your girlfriend does that thing with her tongue?
Dude #2: I’ve talked to her about that.

–St. Augustine, Florida

Friend #1: You know who's really hot? Megan Fox.
Friend #2 (in nonchalant agreement): Yeah, she's really hot. (more excitedly) You know who else is hot?
Friend #1: Who?
Friend #2: That brunette chick from the Transformers movie–damn.
Friend #1: Megan Fox?
Friend #2: Oh.

–Guarujá, São Paulo, Brazil

Man to friends: He's a pyromaniac from way back.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bonnie

Woman to another, trying to get support to protect the seals: Yeah, my daughter's friend wants to be a marine biologist. She is so smart.
Daughter's friend, in confused voice: Hey, I got gum on my camera.

–Children's Beach, La Jolla, California

Girl #1: Oh, man! So, for Christmas my dad is letting me get my cartilidge pierced! I’m so excited!
Girl #2: Oh, man, that’s so cool! I want to get mine done, too.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’ll only ever get my ears pierced. Everything else is so gross and weird.
Girl #3: Yeah, well, I have my clit pierced — do you think that’s weird?
Girl #2: What’s a clit?

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Seven-year-old girl to friend: Kyle says he's going to go through all the girls' bags and steal their undies.

–Outdoor Swimming Pool, Victoria, Australia

Overheard by: Mr. E

20-something college guy: So he was getting the anal beads pulled out, coming at the same time, and he shat all over this girl’s couch.
20-something college girl: Well then what did he do?
20-something college guy: I dunno, he probably wiped his ass and left…

–Casino Beach, Pensacola, Florida