Friends

Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.

–Ocean City, Maryland

American beach-goer #1: I wonder if the people here have trouble understanding us sometimes.
American beach-goer #2: Why would they?
American beach-goer #1: Because of our accents.
American beach-goer #2: But we don’t have accents.

–Edinburgh, Scotland

Girl: Well, you get like half his money when you divorce!…And he’s in med school now. Alls I’m sayin’ is you should wait a few years.

–Folly Beach, South Carolina

Blonde #1: Are you wearing that sunscreen that tastes good?
Blonde #2: What?
Blonde #1: Your sunscreen smells really good. Is it the kind that tastes good?
Blonde #2: How do you know how sunscreen tastes?
Blonde #1: Oh, I’ll tell you later.

–Natural Bridges, Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: just trying to get a tan

Lady to friends: Wow! This is a lot of sand!

–Cocoa Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Courtney

Girl #1: I don’t get it — I’m in a sweater and I’m cold, but you aren’t and you’re wearing a tank top?
Girl #2: That’s because I’m fat.
Girl #1: Oh… Well, at least you’re honest!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Leah

Girl to friend: He was upset because she wouldn't let him cum on her face!

–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina

Little black kid: Why can't we go in the pool?
Friend: What pool? That ain't no pool, nigga, it's got sharks in it!

–Coney Island Boardwalk, New York

Middle-aged woman to friend: Well, she had to get it long before she could use it.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Tim Berzins

Dude #1: You know how your girlfriend does that thing with her tongue?
Dude #2: I’ve talked to her about that.

–St. Augustine, Florida