Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
Middle‐aged woman to friend: Well, she had to get it long before she could use it.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Tim Berzins
Dude: … So I’m, like, sitting there and she just keeps staring at me! So you know what I did? I threw my pizza crust at her forehead… And she started to bleed! I mean, that was some hard pizza crust, man! And you know what did said? Nothing! She just kept staring!
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Small boy running back from the ocean: Mom! I have to pee!
Mom: Just go in the ocean.
Boy: I tried, but the waves kept pushing my pants back up!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Shirtless meathead #1: This is awesome. We should start a shirts‐off club.
Shirtless meathead #2: Yeah. We could call it ‘Shirtless in Seattle.‘
Shirtless meathead #3: But we don’t live in Seattle.
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Father pointing to ocean: Hey, John, look at the dolphins! [Seven‐year‐old boy looks around, not seeing them.] You’re missing them! You’re missing them like you miss everything! You’re just like your mother!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Got to remember that for when I am a parent
Drunk guy in line on cell: I don’t see any rubbers here, so are you okay with “pull & pray?” (pause) You know I’m not gonna pull out, right?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: I really hope they don’t procreate…
Drunk guy in line on cell: I don’t see any rubbers here, so are you okay with “pull & pray?” (pause) You know I’m not gonna pull out, right?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: I really hope they don’t procreate…
Tourist guy: I hate these tourists! They think they’re so cool, just coming down for the weekend in their little homes, fucking up the traffic and making parking difficult. Go home!
Local teen: Your license plate says you’re from Pennsylvania.
Tourist guy: I rent for the summer. I guess I’m kinda like you, in a sense.
Local teen: Bitch, please.
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: beach native
Girl: Hm. Which way should we sit? Where’s the sun?
Guy: Yeah. See, that’s what’s wrong with East Coast beaches. The sun ends up, like, behind you.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kev
