Waitress: Do you want cheddar, mozzarella, or Swiss on your burger?
Customer: Um… American?

–The Purple Parrot, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Hollywood

B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!

–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas

Customer: Hey, my car is making a funny noise.
Clerk: What did it sound like?
Customer: Vrummm‐clunk.
Clerk: How did it go, again?
Customer: Vrummm‐clunk.
Clerk: I didn’t quite get that — one more time?
Customer: Vrummm‐clunk! Vrummm‐clunk! Vrummm‐clunk!
Clerk: Hahahaha!
Customer: What?

–AutoZone, Crestview, Florida