Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
Mom to little boy: Now, don’t touch other people’s eyeballs.
–St. Simons Island, Georgia
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Girl to friend: He was upset because she wouldn't let him cum on her face!
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
40-something guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Chick in bikini: Oh, I have a long list of things…
40-something guy: Stripper?
Chick in bikini, hardly offended: Do I look like I have the body of a stripper?
40-something guy: That’s why I asked.
–Palm Beach, Florida
British mother to young child: Either put it in your mouth or I'm giving it to charity!
–Miami Beach, Florida
Drunk girl: I think I am sexually attracted to fire.
Sober girl: Yeah…let me know how that goes.
Drunk girl: It burns, but I gotta admit I love the smell of burning pubic hair in the morning.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Latina #1: I feel like everybody hates me.
Latina #2: Maybe it’s ’cause you feet stink.
–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn, New York
Mother: Stop flicking your ear.
Tween son: I can't. My ear is so awesome.
Mother: You're so retarded sometimes.
Tween son: Like dad?
–Orchard Beach, The Bronx, New York
Overheard by: Pinks
Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…
–Auckland, New Zealand
Overheard by: Shakira
