Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!
–Huntington Beach, California
Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!
–Huntington Beach, California
Tourist mom to kids, upon seeing dolphins: Get out of the water! Go, now! Get out! [After seeing everyone else getting in and swimming out.] Never mind, get back in.
–Treasure Island, Florida
Overheard by: Native Floridian
Girl: I used to have a Shih-Tzu. Cutest dog ever.
Boy: Yeah, my friend has one, and this Doberman mutt thing. It’s weird, ’cause they were playing with each other and its eyeball fell out.
Girl: What?!
Boy: Yeah. They took it to the vet and he was like, ‘Oh, yeah, that happens a lot.’
–Lake Conroe, Texas
Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let's go.
–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: I was scared
Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: downtown
Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?
–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas
Overheard by: Maggie
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
Three-year-old girl using towel as a cape and chasing seagull: I’m prettier than you! I’m prettier than you!
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Overheard by: you’re very tan
White girl, about black girl’s cat in her lap: I love your cat! Scratch that… I love your pussy!
Black girl: Haha! Yes, my big, black pussy is awesome!
White girl: I love to stroke your pussy. It’s so soft.
Guy: Your pussy vibrates when you touch it! [Cat jumps away and goes to the window.]Black girl: Sometimes my pussy gets lonely and likes to go stare out the window.
Guy: Damn! Everyone can see your big, black pussy from that window! Shameful!
White girl: Maybe your pussy needs some attention.
Black girl: Nah! Nobody wants a black pussy!
White girl: That ain’t true! Lots of people do!
Black girl: No! Everyone loves a white pussy! … You should bring out yours.
White girl: My pussy isn’t white… It’s brown with orange speckles.
Guy: Ew!
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
