Threats

Mom (to son #1): That's not all you're carrying! Take more. (to son #2) Good job, genius, you got sand in the cooler! (to both sons) Say goodbye to the beach, you'll never see it again.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mikey

Mom to 10-year-old son after he shakes sandy blanket in her face: You little fucker. I am going to fucking drown you in the ocean!

–Clearwater, Florida

20-something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Little boy, standing in water: I CHALLENGE YOU, POSEIDON!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Six-year-old girl: Hey! Don't throw sand at me! How would you like it if I threw sand at you? Huh?
Six-year-old boy: Go ahead, I dare you. I wouldn't care, I like the sand. I'll lay down in it right now if you want. Now shut up, and keep digging.

–Fairfield Beach, Ohio

Overheard by: SHU friends

Little girl in an excited hush: It looks like the desert… It even has lumps like the desert!

–Williamstown beach, Melbourne, Australia

Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sheph

Teenage gangsta on cell: Naw man, she's not gonna mess with me. I have her MySpace password. Her MySpace password!

–San Diego, California

Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: gunky