Little boy to mom: Don’t touch me! Only Daddy can touch me. [Mom picks boy up.] I’m going to make Daddy spank you right on your bottom!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Six-year-old girl: Hey! Don't throw sand at me! How would you like it if I threw sand at you? Huh?
Six-year-old boy: Go ahead, I dare you. I wouldn't care, I like the sand. I'll lay down in it right now if you want. Now shut up, and keep digging.

–Fairfield Beach, Ohio

Overheard by: SHU friends

Little girl in an excited hush: It looks like the desert… It even has lumps like the desert!

–Williamstown beach, Melbourne, Australia

Mom to little boy: If you keep digging that damn hole, a Chinese man is going to pop out and make you eat rice.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Sheph

Teenage gangsta on cell: Naw man, she's not gonna mess with me. I have her MySpace password. Her MySpace password!

–San Diego, California

Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!

–Long Beach, California

Overheard by: gunky

Man riding away on bike: Oh ya, why don’t you come over here and do something about it? Eat shit and fuck your mom!

–Playa Del Rey, CA

Black woman to toddler running wild: Tyrone, get yo' black ass over here or I will spank you like a white man!

–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: White girl

Mother, to little boy refusing to wear swimmies: Fine, I guess you can go drown. Say bye bye to mommy. [Little boy breaks into hysterics.]

–Cape Cod, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Leigh

Mom: If you drown, I won’t save you. Don’t you dare get in that water!

Son runs into the ocean

Mom: Son of a bitch. He can’t swim, and my suit can’t get wet. Do I really have to choose, because this bikini was pretty damn expensive.

–Belle Harbor, Queens, New York